We are 98% emotional and only 2% rational. Yet we spend 98% of our time learning to be rational and less than 2% of our time learning to be emotionally competent. Explore here to move your needle of emotional competency.
Emotional intelligence is a measure of emotional competency. You cannot learn a measure. However, you can learn emotional skills. Those skills fall within the domain of emotional competency. The reason so many trainings fail at emotional intelligence is because they are teaching the wrong things. Specifically, most "emotional intelligence training" tells you what to do, but not how to do it. Emotional competency training focuses on the how; How exactly to develop emotional skills.
Developing emotional competency makes you a high performer in everything you do.
Emotional competency means that you self-regulate your feelings rather than have them randomly dictate your life.
Emotional competence makes you less likely to suffer from chronic stress, depression, and anxiety, all of which destroy health.
Here are some articles to get you started on developing your emotional competency.
What Is Emotional Invalidation? Emotional invalidation works like this: You are having an emotional moment. Your best friend is with you and, in response to your feelings, says one of these things: “Don’t be so dramatic.” “Deal with it.” “You can’t be serious.” “But it doesn’t make any sense to feel that way.” “Why are
Read MoreSome years ago, Dr. Laura posted my thoughts about relationship negotiation on her front page. The thing is, most of us have unwarranted entitlement expectations from our significant others. No one helped us connect the dots that, as adults, we cannot expect others to meet our unstated needs. We need to ask for them to
Read MoreBy Guest Blogger Jennifer Scott Anxiety comes in many forms, and it affects nearly 40 million adults in the US. While anxiety isn’t always formally diagnosed, many people understand the signs or symptoms when they feel them and can create lifestyle changes to avoid those triggers. However, events, life choices, and even the things you
Read MoreWhen Laurel Kaufer and I started the Prison of Peace Project, we did not set out to teach emotional intelligence. We were devising a curriculum that would help life inmates become good mediators as quickly as possible. Since we guessed that they did not have strong interpersonal skills, we decided to spend 4 weeks teaching
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What Is Emotional Invalidation? Emotional invalidation works like this: You are having an emotional moment. Your best friend is with you and, in response to your feelings, says one of these things: “Don’t be so dramatic.” “Deal with it.” “You can’t be serious.” “But it doesn’t make any sense to feel that way.” “Why are
Read MoreBy Guest Blogger Jennifer Scott Anxiety comes in many forms, and it affects nearly 40 million adults in the US. While anxiety isn’t always formally diagnosed, many people understand the signs or symptoms when they feel them and can create lifestyle changes to avoid those triggers. However, events, life choices, and even the things you
Read MoreWhen Laurel Kaufer and I started the Prison of Peace Project, we did not set out to teach emotional intelligence. We were devising a curriculum that would help life inmates become good mediators as quickly as possible. Since we guessed that they did not have strong interpersonal skills, we decided to spend 4 weeks teaching
Read MoreNeuroscience Combined with Communication Skills Creates New Online Course Developed by Award Winning Author, Peacemaker, and Lawyer Fresno, Ca………..New online course created by award winning lawyer, award winning author, and professional mediator Douglas Noll, teaches participants how to calm an angry person and develop a deep connection in 90 seconds using Noll’s unique formula
Read MoreAncient philosophers and physicians divided the mind, not with an understanding of biology or the brain, but to capture the essence of human nature according to their concerns about truth, beauty and ethics. They included mental categories for thinking (cognitions), feeling (emotions) and volition (actions, and in more modern versions, perceptions). These categories symbolized a cherished narrative about human nature in Western civilization: that emotions (our inner beast) and cognitions (evolution’s crowning achievement) battle or cooperate to control behavior. The classical view of emotion was forged in these ancient ideas.
If the history of science has taught us anything, however, it is that human experiences rarely
reveal the way that the natural world works:
‘Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not; however, uniquely determined by the external world’ (Einstein et al., 1938, p. 33).
The last two decades of neuroscience research have brought us to the brink of a paradigm shift in understanding the brain. Fundamentally, we are emotional beings, not rational beings. It turns out that thousands of years of philosophy about human nature is simply wrong.
Developing emotional competency should begin in the first 5 years of life. Because of a deep-seated mistaken belief that emotions are weak and irrational, children are deprived of emotional competency training.
This leads to many dysfunctions in adulthood. Fortunately, with the knowledge of modern neuroscience as support, you can be come emotionally competent with the right knowledge and skills. This is the place to start your journey.
You are invited to join a unique tribe of people committed to developing their emotional competence.
