Developing Emotional Competency

We are 98% emotional and only 2% rational. Yet we spend 98% of our time learning to be rational and less than 2% of our time learning to be emotionally competent. Explore here to move your needle of emotional competency.

Why Emotional Competency and Not Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is a measure of emotional competency. You cannot learn a measure. However, you can learn emotional skills. Those skills fall within the domain of emotional competency. The reason so many trainings fail at emotional intelligence is because they are teaching the wrong things. Specifically, most "emotional intelligence training" tells you what to do, but not how to do it. Emotional competency training focuses on the how; How exactly to develop emotional skills.

High Performance

Developing emotional competency makes you a high performer in everything you do.


Emotional competency means that you self-regulate your feelings rather than have them randomly dictate your life.


Emotional competence makes you less likely to suffer from chronic stress, depression, and anxiety, all of which destroy health.

Emotional Competency Articles

Here are some articles to get you started on developing your emotional competency.

Emotional Competency

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August 15, 2020

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August 30, 2019

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June 8, 2015

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September 22, 2014

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We Are Emotional, Not Rational, Beings

Ancient philosophers and physicians divided the mind, not with an understanding of biology or the brain, but to capture the essence of human nature according to their concerns about truth, beauty and ethics. They included mental categories for thinking (cognitions), feeling (emotions) and volition (actions, and in more modern versions, perceptions). These categories symbolized a cherished narrative about human nature in Western civilization: that emotions (our inner beast) and cognitions (evolution’s crowning achievement) battle or cooperate to control behavior. The classical view of emotion was forged in these ancient ideas.

If the history of science has taught us anything, however, it is that human experiences rarely
reveal the way that the natural world works:

‘Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not; however, uniquely determined by the external world’ (Einstein et al., 1938, p. 33).

The last two decades of neuroscience research have brought us to the brink of a paradigm shift in understanding the brain. Fundamentally, we are emotional beings, not rational beings. It turns out that thousands of years of philosophy about human nature is simply wrong.

  • Developing emotional competency is not a soft, touchy-feely process. 
  • People with exceptional emotional competency will be in high demand for leadership positions.
  • Emotional competency is the key to success, happiness, and financial abundance.

Developing emotional competency should begin in the first 5 years of life. Because of a deep-seated mistaken belief that emotions are weak and irrational, children are deprived of emotional competency training.

This leads to many dysfunctions in adulthood. Fortunately, with the knowledge of modern neuroscience as support, you can be come emotionally competent with the right knowledge and skills. This is the place to start your journey.

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