Tough Situations May Challenge You
Your quiz results show that you prefer to avoid emotions. For you, emotions are messy, uncomfortable, and chaotic.
Because you are, at times, more in your head than in your heart, you are not always viewed as confident and influential.
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The Frustration of Not Being Taken Seriously
Anna was in management, smart, hard-working, and intelligent.
Despite her obvious talent, she was dismissed in meetings. Her opinions were ignored.
She lacked influence, authority, and respect. No one important took her seriously or listened to her.
She felt frustrated, angry, and confused as she thought she was doing everything by the book.
Anna decided something in her had to change so she came to us to develop her emotional competency.
She learned about her emotions, developed self-awareness, became a master at emotional self-regulation, and learned how to read and reflect the emotions of those around her.
To her pleasant surprise, people started listening to her.
Her boss deferred to her judgment.
She had a commanding presence in meetings.
She handled tough situations with cool, calm professionalism.
She gained respect and influence.
And, the promotions started coming.
This Story Can Be Yours With Some New Tools
There is a new set of tools, based on neuroscience, that will give you the confidence to face any situation, be heard, and be respected.
And do this without becoming anxious or reactive yourself.
When you master this set of skills, you, like Anna, will be seen as a person of influence and authority, commanding respect from everyone around you.
You have been brainwashed into thinking that emotions are bad…chaotic…out of control.
Remember back when you were a child and skinned your knee. You were probably told something like "Don't cry." Or, "Don't be a sissie." Or, "It doesn't hurt." You were told that feeling emotions and showing them was weak.
Basically, you were told to ignore that which makes you human… because until the advent of neuroscience, no one really knew anything about emotions... except that they caused nothing but trouble.
In the business world, it's even worse. Women cannot show anger; men cannot show compassion or sadness. You are taught that you have to be tough and in control at all times. No one wants a wimp around.
When you make the mind shift that we are 98% emotional and only 2% rational, everything changes. Instead of being stuck in your head, you can develop the hidden genius within you-your emotional competency.
You will finally feel at ease with yourself and with others around you.
By developing some simple, easy-to-master skills, you:
You will be seen as controlled, powerful, calm, and authoritative.
You'll be able to master new challenges and handle everything that comes your way with grace and ease.
Your personal life will transform too as you learn how to listen others into existence.
You will become a sought-after leader.
Developing Emotional Competency
An online course to unlock your hidden genius...your emotions
Learn to calm an angry person in less than 30 seconds… even if you believe rationality is the right strategy in most emotional situations!
What Students Say About Doug's Books and Courses
I started working with Doug a few months ago in order to develop skills that would help de-escalate tension while sheltering-in-place with family. The techniques he teaches were very useful to that end. I have found myself incorporating them in many other situations as well, such as with patients and staff in the office, in dialogue with friends, and with my toddler son. Some of his techniques are simple enough that I was able to use them immediately, with profound effect. Additionally, his approach is helping me to conserve mental and emotional energy while navigating challenging interpersonal dynamics, which has been invaluable for this working mom. I highly recommend his training.
I don't remember where or why I bought your book. However, it has been the most profound life-changing read I have ever put my time and effort into. I am a Clinical Psychotherapist graduating with high honors. I started my own clinical practice several years ago which is successful. My focus is cognitive rehabilitation with a specialty in neuroscience and brain injury. I tell you that only so you know I have read and studied a lot of material. Mr. Noll, your message was received with the utmost appreciation. Through your work, I am a much better person, therapist, mother, friend, wife, and all the other roles I play in life. This book should be a requirement for all clinical therapist to read. I learned more from your book that all my work in grad school in reference to seeing the big picture. Again, I just wanted you to know the impact you have made on my life and how grateful I am.
I just wanted to share with you an experience I had the other day when I reflected someone's emotional state back to them. I was in Target and was chatting with the cashier and asked how her day was going. She told me her day was not good and why it was not good. I got very quiet and still within myself, looked up at her and said, "You're fearful." The woman's flood gates opened and she started crying. When she was finished, I smiled, took her hand, looked into her eyes with complete acceptance, nodded to her, and left.
It also works with Alzheimer's people, but in a deeper more fundamental way. They do not remember my words, but a feeling of connection and being heard. The evidence is in their behavior. I'm not sure how long the effects are for them, but in the immediate behavior with early to middle stage Alzheimer's it seems to work thus far.
The material on firmly held beliefs particularly blew me away. No wonder we have so much trouble communicating with each other! I do want to thank you for the course and what you have taught me. It has benefited me in a number of ways, including in my personal relationships. All the best,
Hi Doug, I have been following you for more than a year and practicing affect labeling I have been also following the weekly Thurs teachings and sharings. I have such good deep results...mostly for myself in my studies. I take whatever emotion that besets me and observe it taking the journey to my frontal cortex. I watch the fear-based energy transform into something empowering. It's alchemy! I'm 66 with a stoic Scottish upbringing, and there are no good emotional tools in that world. So with the many buried angsts that I now can observe, it's more than amazing to watch these transform. With sublime respect and gratitude, Joy!
Dear Doug: I wanted to let you know just how powerful and useful I have found the affect labeling and other skills I learned from you. In fact, the most recent example occurred just this morning.
About Doug Noll
Doug Noll is an award-winning author, speaker, and trainer.
Doug is the co-founder of the award-winning Prison of Peace Project. He has trained mediators and leaders in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia in his innovative peacemaking and mediation processes.
Doug's honors include California Lawyer Magazine Attorney of the Year, a Purpose Prize Fellow, and Best Lawyers of America Lawyer of the Year.
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