Currently set to Index
Currently set to Follow

"I WISH I'D SAID THAT!"

Now You Will

ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY,

HOW TO SAY IT,

AND WHEN TO SAY IT...

NO MATTER HOW INTENSE THE SITUATION

NO MATTER HOW AWKWARD

NO MATTER HOW CONFRONTATIONAL

AND DEFUSE ARGUMENTS IN A MOMENT

WHAT I LEARNED THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING



Prison of Peace trains inamtes serving ligfe sentences to live lives of service as peacemakers and mediators

Although I’ve been a lawyer, mediator, and peacemaker—and have facilitated 500-million dollar settlements---I am most proud of my work in the most violent prisons in the world.


This is where I train lifers and long-term inmates to stop prison violence as peacemakers and mediators. We have never had one of our paroled students re-offend.


In 2010, my colleague Laurel Kaufer and I began Prison of Peace in the largest, most violent women's prison in the world.


In the fifth week of training, we walked into the dingy conference room assigned to us. We were there a little early, and we saw one of our students sitting in a corner. She was quietly sobbing. We walked over, and Laurel knelt down next to her. "Sarah, what's going on?"


Sarah told us that she had been in prison for 18 years after killing a family of four because she “was a drunk driver and an alcoholic.”  She gave up her baby boy to her sister to raise and wrote her son every week since she had been in prison—and had never heard back. 


After the second session, she said she wrote him using our techniques, and “for the first time in 18 years,” she received a letter back from him. 


 It was angry, which she understood, but it was signed “I love you, Mom” and indicated that he and his girlfriend would visit soon.


She wept.

Learn New Tools

As I reflect on this experience, I realize that Sarah had learned to validate her son's feelings and emotions. For the first time, she took her attention off herself and put it on her son.

What was happening with Sarah is, I’ve found, a pattern that repeats itself across thousands of corporate teams, families, communities, and government institutions every day.

We have not been taught to do what Sarah did with her son. 

It shows across society in the form of anger, polarization, disrespect, family estrangement, mass resignations, and profound personal unhappiness.

dysfunctional teams
This pattern comes from 3000 years of a mistaken philosophy.  We are not primarily rational beings as we have been taught.
We are primarily emotional beings and rationalize only after the fact.
 
I have discovered that true personal and business success relies on mastering two essential brain systems--the task-focused system (which is what formal education trains) and the default mode (our social system) which, for most of us, is woefully under-trained. 
The fastest, easiest way to train the default mode system is to ignore the words and pay attention to the emotions.
 
Words are abstract symbolic representations of our emotional state.  We cannot connect vocabulary with experience because we have not been trained to do so.  
We know what anger means, and we have experienced anger, but the word is not connected to the experience.
The practical effect of focusing on emotions is to create instant rapport and intimacy with anyone. 
When Sarah focused on her son's emotions, he ended his estrangement.
 All he wanted was to be deeply heard at a gut, emotional level by his mother.
I've seen these same effects thousands of times, not only in my prison work but in board rooms, corporate teams, family businesses, professional practices, and in marriages and families.
At the request of hundreds of clients, readers, and students, I have taken what was previously only available in private workshops and in prisons and created a new online course called:
DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL COMPETENCY


OUTCOMES

Our clients (testimonials below) all discover the ability to control what formerly felt like uncontrollable situations in business and their personal lives.

Things like:

New options for dealing with…

  • Angry business partners
  • Upset spouses
  • Childish temper tantrums
  • Intense emotional situations
  • Family conflicts
  • Political polarization
  • And much more….

These tools are a gift that they share with others as they desire.

Our students gain new freedom as they empower themselves to respond to….

  • Insults
  • Accusations
  • Deep grief
  • Emotional upset
  • Deep grief
  • Intense anger
  • Disrespect
  • Shame
  • Embarrassment

They know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it in any situation with utter confidence.

MASTERY

By developing some simple, easy-to-master skills, our students:

  • Become supremely confident
  • Have influence
  • Be heard
  • Gain respect
  • Make better decisions

Our students always know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it, no matter what situation they face.

They report that they are seen as controlled, powerful, calm, and authoritative.

They tell us their personal lives transform too as they develop and practice their skills.

Here's What Students Tell Us About Their Experience

Some of Doug's techniques are simple enough that I was able to use them immediately, with profound effect. Additionally, his approach is helping me to conserve mental and emotional energy while navigating challenging interpersonal dynamics, which has been invaluable for this working mom. I highly recommend his training.

Elizabeth Arris


Your training has been the most profound life-changing I have ever put my time and effort into. I am a Clinical Psychotherapist graduating with high honors. My focus is cognitive rehabilitation with a specialty in neuroscience and brain injury. I tell you that only so you know I have read and studied a lot of material. I learned more from you than all my work in grad school in reference to seeing the big picture. Again, I just wanted you to know the impact you have made on my life and how grateful I am.

Tori Johnson


I watch the fear-based energy transform into something empowering. It's alchemy! I'm 66 with a stoic Scottish upbringing, and there are no good emotional tools in that world. So with the many buried angsts that I now can observe, it's more than amazing to watch these transform. With sublime respect and gratitude, Joy!

Joy Herhold


It works with Alzheimer's people, but in a deeper more fundamental way. They do not remember my words, but a feeling of connection and being heard. The evidence is in their behavior.

jacqueline thompson


OMG Suddenly I know how important this course is for me. Your lesson that I watched tonight feels like the door is finally being opened to me. Thank you.

Mike Bambrick


Many of our clients find that this course has saved them tremendous future costs and hardships, including:

  • The emotional and financial devastation of divorce
  • The cost of putting a teenage child through rehab
  • The cost of a failed business relationship
  • The cost and frustration of a stalled career
  • The cost of team dysfunction
  • The cost of family fights and arguments
  • The cost of an avoidable lawsuit

Developing Emotional Competency

The basic course, Developing Emotional Competency, contains four modules.

1

Module 1: Introduction

You will learn about the course and what emotional maturity is all about. Just because we grow into adulthood does mean that we are emotionally mature.

2

Module 2: Emotions and Affect

Developing emotional competency requires you understand the science of emotions. We will do a bit of diving into neuroscience to understand what emotions are, why we have them, and how what happens in our brains and body creates complex emotional systems that we can learn to control.

3

Module 3: Affect Labeling

We will introduce you to the first deadly sin, emotional invalidation, and its antidote, affect labeling. When you are able to read the emotional experiences of others and reflect those experience back, you are well on your way to developing your emotional competency.

4

Module 4: Using Metaphors 

Learn how to use metaphors as a tool of emotional reflection, and begin building your metaphor library.

The advanced course contains three modules

1

Module 1: Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation

Our students develop emotional self-awareness and emotional self-regulation. They learn about and practice the five levels of self-regulation.


2

Module 2: Mastering Anger And Aggression

Our students learn about anger and aggression and how to respond to any angry situation while remaining calm. They dissect an intense couple's argument to understand and recognize the underlying anger dynamics.


3

Module 3: Advanced Skills

Our students master advanced skills on creating social power, using discursive positioning, and inoculating against anger.

Learn how to listen others into existence

The Basic and Advanced Develop Your Emotional Competency Courses together.

23 lessons.


$

1,499.99



  • Lifetime Access
  • Immediate Start
  • Access to All Basic Course Modules
  • Access to the Advanced Course
  • Qualify for Private Group Coaching Membership
  • Access To New Lessons As Published
regular course

One sentence summary of what they get

$

99

  • Lifetime Access
  • Immediate Start
  • Access to All Modules
Advanced course

One sentence summary of what they get

$

127

  • Lifetime Access
  • Immediate Start
  • Access to All Modules
  • X number of bonuses
  • Access to Private Facebook Group
  • 30 minute private coaching call

30 Day Money Back Guarantee

If these courses do not exceed our students' expectations, we give a full refund anytime within 30 days after purchase. No questions asked.

30 Day


MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

Please follow Doug on:

About Doug Noll

Doug Noll is an award-winning author, speaker, and trainer.

Doug is the co-founder of the award-winning Prison of Peace Project. He has trained leaders in North America, Europe, the Middle East, and Asia in his innovative processes.

Doug's honors include California Lawyer Magazine Attorney of the Year, a Purpose Prize Fellow, and Best Lawyers of America Lawyer of the Year.

Our Students Are Respected, Influential, And Authoritative

BECAUSE THEY HAVE LEARNED HOW TO LISTEN OTHERS INTO EXISTENCE

>