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What Your Date Desires Is Not Money, Sex, or Even Love

How you can give your date the one thing desired most?  It’s not money, sex, or even love. It’s a deep-seated need that they may not even know they have.

And when you satisfy that need, everything changes.

Now, I want to warn you that this will not work if you are trying for anything other than an authentic romantic relationship.

You cannot use what I will talk about to manipulate your way into bed because it won't work.

You have to want to connect at a deep level, and the main thing we’re going to focus on is what the big need is.

  • How many times have you approached an attractive date, only to feel nervous and a little-tongued tied?
  • How many times have you looked at someone attractive and never tried to approach because you felt you wouldn't get the time of day?
  • How many times have you come down on yourself because you didn’t have guts to approach an attractive person?
  • How many times have you wondered what a date truly desires and how to deliver it with utter confidence and strength?

So, when it comes to giving a date the one thing they desire most, we all know we need to have confidence in ourselves. But a huge thing that holds us back is “How do I overcome my weaknesses?” "How to I overcome my shyness and lack of confidence and lack of self-esteem?"

And I get it all the time. Dating singles worried about looking like fools, embarrassing themselves, being rejected, and, let’s face it, being hurt by rejection or ridicule.

 It makes sense. But here’s the thing: All of those fears go away when you learn one skill—how to listen your date into existence

I’ll talk about that more in a moment, but first...

New Tools

My work as a lawyer-turned-peacemaker has carried me into some of the darkest places on the planet—maximum security prisons where I have trained murderers to be powerful peacemakers.

I discovered that, in transforming murderers into peacemakers, there was one skill that made all of the difference.I began to share this skill with some of my younger friends and they reported that it completely changed everything for them, especially when dating. Some were single, some in relationships, and some of them were married. In every case, they discovered the one thing that desirfed most in a relatonship and it changed everything.

Here’s what a few of them have said.

You Were Programmed For Romantic Failure

What if I told you that you were programmed for romantic failure? (And that it’s not your fault!) The truth is that we're literally programmed not to succeed at relationships.

Remember when you were two or three years old and you fell down, scraped your knee and started crying. What were you told?

Don’t be a sissy.

Rub dirt in it.

Get over it.

Big boys don’t cry.

Pull on your big girl pants.

Guess what? You were being programed to become emotionally incompetent.

You were taught that emotions are weak.

Emotions are invalid.

Emotions are evil.

Emotions are irrational.

And you learned that emotions were painful and shameful.

As a result, we all get stuck thinking we need to live out roles that were handed to us.

This can be positive-sounding but devastating, such as "Be tough," "Macho man," "Uber-rational." or many other false identities.

Really, let’s be honest. Those identities hide our fear and our pain around emotions.

We Are 98% Emotional and Only 2% Rational

For thousands of years, the model of human nature was that we were rational beings. Rationality was what separated us from other animals.

It turns out that this was a big lie.

Neuroscientists like Antonio Damasio now tell us that we are 98% emotional and only 2% rational.

98% emotional

This whole idea that the ideal human is rational, unemotional, and aloof from his or her feelings is utter BS.

And it is the single most important reason dating singles do not recognize nor can they satisfy their date's deepest desire.

That deepest desire is to be heard and validated at a deep emotional level.

And the secret to doing this is learning how to listen others into existence.

When you learn how to listen others into existence,

  • You soothe anxiety
  • You create a calm, soothing presence
  • You create emotional safety
  • You create intimacy
  • You validate your date in a profound way
  • Your date knows that you get him or her like no other person before
You can imagine what flows from those kinds of feelings.

Emotions Can Be Terrifying

You probably already know that emotions can be terrifying. Coupled with feelings of insecurity and maybe even feeling like a complete fake, your inner life is anything but happy and fulfilling.

Maybe you have even numbed out your feelings because of your childhood programming.

But the problem is, until now, you had nowhere to turn to learn skills that really work.

Maybe you have an executive coach or even a therapist that is helping you and hopefully, they are. But the sad truth is that most coaches and therapists are not schooled in emotional competency and how to teach it.

That's Where I Come In...

I developed this new method that is a shortcut to developing true confidence and self-worth by teaching you how to be emotionally competent. It’s the best method I’ve discovered to:

  • Make you confident in every social situation
  • Make any man or woman feel emotionally safe
  • Calm upset without being nervous or anxious yourself
  • Know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it in any encounter
  • Be seen as a compassionate, safe, kind, and powerful partner
  • Listen them into existence

The Power of Neuroscience

de-escalatin techniques

Why does it work so well? It’s based on neuroscience, not pop psychology.

Every human brain is hard-wired to respond to emotional reflection. And every human has a deep need to be validated and to feel emotionally safe.

When you learn these skills, your date is not only deeply grateful, they see you as a trusted intimate, leader, and confidant. You become instantly sexy.


Transform Your Romantic Life

By developing some simple, easy-to-master skills, you:

  • Become supremely confident
  • Have the perfect opening line in every situation
  • Know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it to any person
  • Create authentic romantic intimacy without feeling nervous or uncomfortable
  • Make your date feel validated and heard like no one has before
THE Basic Emotional Competency course



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Advanced course

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30 Day Money Back Guarantee

If, for any reason, this course does not exceed your expectation, you can get a full refund anytime within 30 days after your purchase. If you have any issues, just get in touch with our friendly support team and they'll either help you out until you get the results you need or give you a swift refund.

30 Day


Developing Emotional Competency

The basic course, Developing Emotional Competency, contains four modules.


Module 1: Introduction

You will learn about the course and what emotional maturity is all about. Just because we grow into adulthood does mean that we are emotionally mature. Emotional maturity is the secret no one talks about in the dating scene.


Module 2: Emotions and Affect

Developing emotional competency requires you understand the science of emotions. We will do a bit of diving into neuroscience to understand what emotions are, why we have them, and how what happens in our brains and body creates complex emotional systems that we can learn to control. The veil will be lifted on why behaviors and attitudes in dating can be so confusing.


Module 3: Affect Labeling

We will introduce you to the first deadly sin, emotional invalidation, and its antidote, affect labeling. When you are able to read the emotional experiences of your date and reflect those experience back, the magic happens.


Module 4: Using Metaphors 

Learn how to use metaphors as a tool of emotional reflection, and begin building your metaphor library. You will be amazed at how your date will react to you as you listen them into existence with this simple idea.

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About Your Guide, Doug Noll

Doug Noll is an award-winning author, speaker, and trainer.

Doug is the co-founder of the award-winning Prison of Peace Project. He has trained mediators and leaders in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia in his innovative peacemaking and mediation processes.

Doug's honors include California Lawyer Magazine Attorney of the Year, a Purpose Prize Fellow, and Best Lawyers of America Lawyer of the Year.

He is devoted to teaching emotional competency to men and women so they can begin to live the same fulfilling life he lives.

Everything You Need To Know To How To Give Your Date What They Most Desire

Learn How to Listen Your Date Into Existence.